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Not Going Anywhere

Writer's picture: Kaela SKaela S

Deuteronomy 31:6

So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.
 

A few weeks ago I caught myself trying to work for God’s love - and failing.


I wanted to overcome my insecurities and start posting on social media, but just couldn’t. Every time I would muster up the courage to post, I would talk myself out of it. As it continued to happen, I realized that I was not being obedient to what I felt God was telling me to do. I started to reflect on all the other times I wasn’t consistent in other areas of my life and began to feel like God was disappointed and pulling away from me.


One day, during this time, I decided to crack open my “Jar of Love”* and I pulled out a note that said “He is not ashamed of me and won’t take His love from me.”


For a little transparency, I wrote this note after an experience where I understood that God pulled me out of a terrible situation and gave me another chance at life, BUT a part of me STILL wanted to find comfort in old habits that I was freed from. That day, I had on a cross necklace. I knew that what I was about to do was not going to please God, so I was going to take it off before I walked out the door. Not because I didn’t want to claim God, but because I didn’t think that He still wanted to claim me. I didn’t want to “embarass” God by my actions. As I was taking it off, I felt the Holy Spirit say those words:


“You’re still mine. I’m not ashamed of You and I won’t take my love from You.”

I broke. He didn’t tell me to not do it, or scold me for wanting to fall back into old habits, but He reminded me that He’s not going anywhere, and that love changed my mind.


All this time I thought I had to perform for God’s love. I was so used to relationships where people would leave when the relationship was no longer beneficial, or act like they didn’t know me depending on what I did. I thought that God would do the same. Once again, I was reminded that God is not human. Just because I was too afraid to do what He told me to do, did not make Him love me any less or leave me.


This is a reminder to accept the grace that God has given you. He knows you're not perfect and never will be. His love is freely given and He declares in His word that He will never leave us nor forget about us.


Now, does this mean I’m going to give up on trying to post on social media or that I should give up on trying to do the right things? Nope. It just means that I don’t have to do it alone and there’s grace for the times I don’t get it right.


So for the girl that’s been beating herself up about not doing everything correctly and thinking that God is ashamed of you, get back up! God hasn’t left you. Will it take some hard work to do the right thing? Yes! But God is standing there with open arms ready to help you do what you were called to do.


 

* = (Check Out the Love Letters Blog to find out what the Jar of Love is!)


 


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