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Being Present

Writer's picture: Kaela SKaela S

Well…I wanted to write about being present. You know...”feeling the moment” and giving everyone tips on how I allow myself to not be preoccupied with regrets of my past or dreams of the future. I started writing and then experienced a lot of struggle and felt defeated. Who was I to talk about being present when I spent most of my life running away from my problems, and this current season of life isn’t exactly the one I would choose to be in?


Then I remembered that this is not an advice blog, I am just hoping you read and feel encouraged to pour in your own way. So let me tell you MY story...


As a child, I was so excited to grow up. When I was five, I couldn’t wait to be the next Cheetah Girl. When I was in my teens, I couldn't wait to eventually become a doctor. When I was in college, I was so excited to graduate and finally start living life without another homework assignment or lab report. I would spend SO much time waiting for next, under the assumption that things would magically be better...then. Like once I had my dream job, then I would be satisfied. Once I had more friends, then I would be happy. “Then” just seemed easier and better. Unfortunately, many times I found myself at those “then” moments wishing I could go back to a specific time in my past and actually appreciate where I was and what I had.


I still struggle with being in the present but I know that if I never live in the now, life will just continue to pass me by and I will wish I had taken more chances or I’ll miss so many opportunities to grow and feel. To be transparent, I am in the process of overcoming heartbreak and releasing the idea of what I thought my life would look like. Months ago, I felt broken and thought that life would be so much better after that season. I felt like I was using vision for survival because it allowed me to have hope to keep going. It may have helped for a little then, but I realized I was using it to escape where I currently was and missing out on the opportunity to feel and learn, the good and bad. Emotions can sometimes feel unbearable but I’m choosing to remind myself constantly that I wasn’t built to carry those heavy feelings.

Psalm 55:22 says “Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.”

Of course we have all felt a tad “shooketh” before, but I’ll remind myself to hold on to this promise and let go of the heavy stuff so I can show up fully now. I am challenging myself to just be.


Me being present doesn’t mean I am throwing away my vision board or that I have excelled at not looking back on my past with regret. It just means I am choosing to be present, and understand that all I have is now. I will not be so caught up in the next big thing that I miss the small moments that actually matter. Many of the miracles of Jesus occurred when He was on His way to the next thing. I’m starting to think about all the miracle moments and people I may be ignoring now, on my journey to next. I refuse to be so focused on what comes next, that I miss out on the small moments of joy happening daily; like when I experience a cold breeze brushing by, reminding me that Autumn is here, or laughter when I am surrounded by great company, or feeling fully loved when I am reminded of what God thinks of me. The amazing thing about God is that He is with me here, exactly where I am. I choose to believe that nothing is ever wasted and this present moment will eventually unfold a beautiful story written by God.


Prayer
Jesus, thank You for allowing me the opportunity to experience this present moment with You. Open my eyes to see the moments of joy that I so often ignore and the lessons you want me to learn in this season. I give you the weight of my emotions and stress in turn for Your peace. I trust that You will make all things work together for my good, so allow me to rest in your love today. Amen.
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