I have always wondered what it is that drives me and what it is I feel strongly about. Because I am in the process of figuring out my passions, I find myself being more intentionally present to notice how I feel about all the things I experience to discover what it is that pulls me.
As I was driving home a few weeks ago, I noticed a man waiting at a bus stop. Obviously this is quite normal, but this time was different. Instead of waiting on the bench, he was sitting on the grass with his legs partially in the street. He was looking down, holding his forehead in his hands. It looked like he was defeated and had given up or maybe had one of those days that make you feel overwhelmed to the point of exhaustion. I felt a pull at my heart. There was another time this year I was at the grocery store, and one of the associates was serving food, but not in a “cheery” way. She had managed to upset one of the customers by continuously not acknowledging their request. One of my friends made a comment about how rude she was being; but for some reason, I noticed her and felt another pull inside of me. My heart went out to her because I’m sure the grocery store was the LAST place she wanted to be and who knows her current situation - this moment probably isn’t where she ever saw herself being in life. After reflecting back on moments like these, I realized a passion of mine...I want people to not give up on dreaming. I want people to know that their life is valuable and there’s still a purpose for them. Everyone has a story, and maybe once had dreams, but the bitterness of life can often make you give up on those desires, and the mistakes you made along the way, may make you feel as if you’re undeserving of any good thing. Maybe I was so moved by these moments because I was there. Feeling defeated by life and being in a place that I didn’t think I could ever recover from.
Sometimes it feels easier to cave-in and not go after dreams because if you don’t, you won’t feel the pain of not reaching them. You may have been let down so many times in life so you wonder what’s the point of hoping again when it’s easier to just be numb and not go after anything so you won't have to face another disappointment. But that’s not the life God wants His children to live. God wants us to have an abundant life. Keeping our eyes on Him as He unfolds His plans to give us hope and a future to look forward to. If I’m being honest, I still have to continuously fight to believe that I can achieve all that’s on my heart, but I have to do it.
So here I am writing this letter to myself to read on the days where I find myself too tired to fight for my dreams as they may seem so out of reach and the heaviness of a situation seems unbearable.
Dear me –
I hope you never lose your zeal for life and all the things you want to accomplish. Life has a way of dealing great blows but please push past it to do what you were called to do and create the life you want to live. The desires of your heart are there for a reason and God wants to give them to you. Find strength and stand on the promises of His Word. Keep moving. Things will work out and you will be proud that you didn’t quit. Forget the past and look forward to the beautiful plans God has ahead of you.
Never quit dreaming. Stare at your vision board and speak positivity over yourself knowing that you are fully able to achieve everything there. Stop thinking about if it will happen but get excited about how you will feel when it finally does. This current moment is shaping you into the woman you need to be to sustain those dreams. Keep pushing and never lose faith. Your future self is counting on you, don’t leave her hanging.
Love,
Kaela
Psalm 27:13, I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.
Prayer:
God, You said that you are close to the broken-hearted. Thank You for being near. You said that you will renew my strength if I wait on You. Help me to not break in the waiting. I know You will come through like You always do. Allow me to keep the faith to see it all work out for my good and for Your glory. In Jesus name, Amen.
Luke 1:45, Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her!
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